The girl thinks it's buying a new car. I say screw that. Buying a new car isn't even close. It would not make my top five. When you are in the process of buying a car, you know EXACTLY what is going to happen. You're going to search for the right car, realize you can't afford the one you want, spend some time settling and deciding what's important, realizing you can't afford that either, and then ultimately deciding on whatever P.O.S. the salesman (or woman!) decides to sucker you into purchasing. But the end result is you've GOT A NEW FREAKING CAR! HOORAY! Is there anything more badass than showing off your brand new car for weeks? Tell me this - is there any feeling more satisfying as the owner of a new car than when you're walking out of a building to your car with someone who hasn't seen your new car, and they literally have no idea where you're going? They're wandering around the lot, like a game of god-damn chess, wondering what car you're finally gonna stop at, because they were looking for your old silver hatchback but damned if you haven't traded it in for a new one and they totally forgot! They're at your mercy, you hold all the power! And then you might get out your automatic locks, but you know you're gonna linger there for a minute, they're gonna perk up and go "oh ok, automatic locks, wait for it, lights will flash any...second...now..."and you just kind of wait there, antagonizing them because you hold all the power. It's the BEST. And at the end of the day, you know what you're getting into. Your car will depreciate in value, and nobody's even remotely concerned about this anymore. Things will break, and it's almost like a not-much-fun game of "when's my car gonna die" for the next 10 years. It's a money pit, but it's a necessity.
Old friend and former blogger James J thinks that women are the most frustrating thing about life. Absolutely not. Women are mind-blowingly insane, but they have redeeming qualities. And you know exactly what you're getting yourself into. It's not your fault you keep falling for the same tricks. Women are going to make you happy one minute and they'll make you seriously, seriously think about murdering someone in cold blood the next minute. Women's antics are mind-numbing, but if they all vanished, admit it - you'd be freaking pissed off.
You know what the most frustrating thing in the world is? Bad cole slaw. Cole slaw is a mind-fuck. You see it on a menu and immediately thoughts just start flying through your mind. Ooo slaw, I love slaw, I wonder if it's any good. You think this place has good slaw? I don't want to get stuck with bad slaw. What's the rest of their food like? Is that even remotely a good indicator for how their slaw is gonna be? I don't even remember where I got the last good slaw. Slaw is agonizing. You wanna ask for a taste. Maybe you won't like their slaw. But this isn't a fine wine. This is slaw. It's a side. It shouldn't be this damned important. But it is. IT IS THIS IMPORTANT!
So you get the slaw. You have to know, right? You'll agonize over it if you missed out on really great slaw. So you try it. And here's what gets you. It LOOKS great. Slaw has that look. Sometimes if it's discolored a little you know it's just gonna be awful. But this slaw looks bright and fresh and vibrant and you think "oh man this slaw is gonna be soooo good." And then you taste it. And it's not good. But it's not awful. It's sub-par. Or is it? You have to taste it again to make sure. And it's still just not great. You're disappointed. You got your hopes up again and THE GODS OF SLAW SLAMMED THE DOOR ON YOU. DAMN IT ALL.
I hate it when my mom used to make slaw, and when she made it that afternoon to go with dinner, it was sub-par and I was all disappointed both because it's usually good AND I didn't even have a choice in the matter, but now I'm not getting dessert unless I finish this fucking crappy slaw. BUT THEN, the next day the slaw had aged a little, the juices and spices or whatever the hell else is in slaw had all mingled together a little more, done some sort of stupid cole slaw dance, and now suddenly her cole slaw is AWESOME. What the hell? I thought this slaw was terrible but now it's great? What's it gonna be tomorrow? I can't handle this!
Sub-par slaw messes with your mind, man. It's the most frustrating thing in life.
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